it's like i've turned into a complete different person. and maybe i did. more than once, i found myself wondering: who are you? why are you being this way? but most of the time i would just let those thoughts passed by. like it didnt matter. like turning into a stranger wasnt something unusual.
the people around me noticed these changes as well and when they ask why i would shrug and blurt out cheesy lines like: people change all the time and then pretend like it didnt bother me.
it did.it does bother me so much. it worries me a lot.
but i keep committing the same mistakes over and over, keep losing grip of my own identity, keep blowing the chances of fixing things back, keep saying i am trying and keep lying to myself.
when will i ever stop making excuses and make an effort? when will i find myself again?
you, who stops me every time. who the hell are you?